Goodbye, Israel

My reading at our final Bar Mitzvah ceremony after Masada: 

I came into the Israel trip with self-aspirations to come out with a sense of who I am as a person. I don't know how I expected for this to happen seeing as we barely had time to breath between activities, but I knew there was something waiting for me ahead. I would like to share a quote by Nelson Mandela:

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires. 

Us as jewish people in a world filled with prejudice have without a doubt faced far more than our fair share of walks through the valley of the shadow of death. I don't really understand why the Jews hold this difficult fate, but I think it makes us who we are.  If we would have had an easy walk to freedom, with no oppression or discrimination, would we be at all what we are today? Also, if Israel is the desire we have reached on the heights of this mountain, why is there still so much to learn and achieve?

I thought that this trip would be my easy walk to freedom. I thought that I would go to Poland and feel an overwhelming sense of understanding of why something like the Holocaust would happen. I thought that I would come to Israel and find myself and figure out my spirituality. I think that god forces man to walk through death and death again to only reach an imperfect desire in order to save us. I dont really know who I am. I know who and what I want to be in the world and what it will take to get there. And at the same time I acknowledge that there will only be more challenges once I do achieve my goals. 

Coming on this trip I now understand that there will always be struggles in life and I may not be content with their resolution, but no matter what, forever, I will always have myself, my faith and the jewish people, and god. And I think the key to figuring out who I am is never letting myself forget that those three are a part of me.